Bon Vivant, Glamour Girl and International Woman of Mystery

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So much to say!
I've been so busy unpacking that I haven't really posted an update lately.

The POD with all of our goods arrived last Wednesday and we had it unloaded in 4 hours! Since then

cathyn and I have been busily unpacking and thinking up new ways to store our things in the space we have. We've acquired two wardrobe cabinets for the garage which is where our SCA-type clothes will live. Cody is still in the garage as we are awaiting arrival of the special hardware that will allow us to put a kitty door in a wall instead of a door. There was some misdirection regarding how long it would take to ship, where the Amazon page promised 3 days. Had I known when I ordered it that it would take more than a week to arrive and that the 3 days was referring to how long it would take for the reseller to put it in the mail, NOT how long delivery would take, I would have found another option. I'm extremely frustrated that Amazon didn't make this clear when I ordered it, because I did check as it's important to me, and will likely not purchase from them when dealing with a reseller again. Anyway, it's on it's way now and should be here on Thursday. It can't get here soon enough, as far as I'm concerned.

Thanksgiving was very nice and low-key with the usual suspects at the home of

rachaelfleury and family. Cathyn has promised to teach me cribbage soon so I will know a period 16th C. game.

Saturday night we went to dinner and a show. Dinner was at The Greek in Santa Cruz, my first time there. Great food, and awesome company including

freewaydiva all the way from Seattle,

kaar_insurance,

mad_duchess and a friend,

d_monchick,

sirst, and

catagon3. We all walked to The Catalyst afterwards to see The Red Elvises where we were joined by

learnteach,

rebecca_barbee,

shutt3rg33k and her guy (Troy?) - our little group WAS the audience, definitely a majority of it for the opening act! The Pyronauts opened, very good surf rock but a little bit too loud for the venue - you know the mix is off when it's distorted and blat-y even through the earplugs.

This is the first time I've seen The Red Elvises with the new line-up - Oleg, the usual bass and balalaika player is taking a break from the band, and they've replaced the keyboard player with a rhythm guitarist. Surprisingly, they were MUCH tighter, more focused and all-around better sounding than the last few times I saw them with the old lineup. I suspect that the constant touring schedule they maintain must have been wearing on some members, and with a new infusion there's an energy and excitement they'd been lacking for a while. In a nutshell it was an awesome show, probably the best I've ever seen from them!

Back on the home front: The master bathroom painting is almost done. I'm going to try to hit the trim once tonight and again tomorrow and then it will be finished. We should be able to use the shower starting tomorrow evening, so that will be nice. I am otherwise bored bored BORED with unpacking and organizing. I don't want to do it again, ever. We still have the other bathroom to paint, then eventually the kitchen due to a touchup paint mismatch error, but that's a lower priority than getting unpacked and settled in.

Work: It's now looking like I'll be starting the new gig in Pleasanton on Monday, this time for sure! I had to switch to a different contracting company to finally get it done. I went in for my drug test today, and they don't send you for a drug test unless it's for real, right? Right. So I should be starting on Monday. And I already got a raise - through some miscommunication between the company who located me and failed to bring me on board and the company that's actually bringing me on-board I got a raise of $.25! That's right, a quarter! 25 CENTS IZ SRS BZNS!!

Heh. I think that's all for now.

Green if by land, mauve if by sea
I was just outside taking a pile of flattened boxes* to the POD for temporary storage until we find a home for them**. My new next-door neighbor***, Darlene, says to me, "Are the candles a signal?"

"Wha...?" I say.

"The candles, in your window. Are they a signal?"

"We have candles?" I say.

"In your kitchen window - they were red, then green, sometimes one or now two...? Is it a signal or message?"

I am still confused and say, "We don't...umm...the only thing we're using the kitchen for right now is staging for painting."

"OOHHH!" she says as recognition dawns. "Oh, they're rollers!"

When I go inside I see that yes, there are two rollers, gray and light green, standing on end in the kitchen window, which could, based on a quick glance from across the way, look like tall votive candles. Over the last week there have been red ones, cream ones, brown ones, green ones and purple ones drying in the window, signaling the completion of each shade in the repainting project.

*Anybody need some boxes? We've got a bunch, and mostly they've only been used once. Free to good home.

**The garage is full.

***As opposed to the house-neighbors, who share the other half of the duplex. I don't have a good term for them other than house-neighbors, awesome, or "Liz and Eric". Suggestions gladly accepted.

Current Mood: amused

I'm home
Yes,the rumors you have heard are true, comrades! Cathyn, Eric (our new neighbor*) and I got the POD unloaded in 4 hours today! It took 3 weeks to load back in July, so I was expecting that it would take the whole weekend to get it done. And as a special bonus, the company dropped it off early so we were able to complete it in daylight.

Also, I love my house. I'm lying in my bed, which I haven't done in 5 months, and it feels heavenly. The colors in our home look amazing, all of my stuff is somewhere in the boxes currently forming a maze through the rooms of the house, and decorating and furniture layout ideas are bouncing around wildly as we re-discover all of our precious things. This home is small, it's true, but I find I prefer to run a tight ship and keep my material goods to a minimum, so this suits and I find I like it very much. I honestly felt wasteful having such a big house for just two people in Indy.

Sadly, Mr. Cody Cat can't come in yet because we need to punch a hole in the wall between the sewing room and the garage and put in a cat door. The hardware has been ordered and shipped but since it didn't arrive today we will have to wait until Saturday at the earliest. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it arrives very soon.

There is a TON of work to be done here. The unpacking, of course, but also - the bathrooms are both primer'd, but not yet painted so we need to get paint up and let it cure for a few days before we can shower here. (oh, and dig a shower curtain out of whichever box it's hiding in) Fortunately we have many friends nearby and I have a gym membership if things get dire, so finding somewhere to shower won't be too much of a problem.

So that's the update from the new home. We'll be unpacking all of Friday and Saturday, anybody that wants to swing by is welcome and you won't even be put to work! Well, maybe with helping us think of a name.

*Spent almost 4 hours humping our crap from POD to house - now THAT'S a neighbor!

Current Mood: tired

I bought a bed today, and a long ramble about being on a dieting plateau
I bought a bed today off of craigslist. I'll be going to pick it up tomorrow. It's a canopy bed. When we left Indiana we sold our bedroom furniture to the people who bought the house. Now we have no bedroom furniture, but tomorrow we will have a bed to put in the garage until the carpet has been installed on Tuesday. I'll have to keep looking for a dresser and bedside tables, I think that will have to wait until I am working or I find some for free that I like. I'm guessing it'll likely be the former.

( And here's some dieting angst and despair, with a side of navel-gazing. )

Current Mood: contemplative

How many times I gotta tell ya?
I've been using Yahoo! mail for, you know, EVER. But recently they've been tinkering with stuff and it's cracking me up. On the welcome screen that you get before you go to your Inbox there's a new bit where they want you to add an update, in some vain attempt to make Yahoo! Mail all social-networky, here check it out:

( Here's a visual for your entertainment )

See the bit where it says, "What are you doing right now?" As far as I can tell, nobody uses this feature. I sure don't. I can't imagine this becoming a fun new place to keep in touch, because every time I open my mail, I look at this feature, read it and think, "What am I doing right now?"

Checking my email.

Next time I see that screen - I'm checking my email.

Next time I see that screen - Checking my email.

Seriously - every time I see that screen, what I'm doing is CHECKING MY EMAIL! There's no other reason for me to see that screen! I actually think I may start adding my status every time I see that screen, just for fun. But no - then everyone on my contacts list that uses Yahoo Mail Classic will know just how obsessively I check my email!

Current Mood: amused

Rehabbing
I've been running in the pool at my gym to rehab a groin strain I induced in my first few running attempts since I got back from Europe. Today was the day I got to run for reals, and I decided that my best option was to head down to my local high school and run on the springy rubberized track.

Overall I'm pleased with how that went, I managed 3 full laps without pain (I was targeting 4 laps - 1 mile - for my first run) and then noticed a dull ache beginning in my leg. I went another half lap to see if it was going to continue, which it did, so I stopped and stretched then walked home. The pain wasn't nearly as bad as it was before I began the rest and rehab program, and it ceased immediately once I began walking so I think I'm on the right track. Heh.

Unfortunately, as we were leaving Old Lady in a Golf Cart rolled up and told me and

cathyn that "unless you belong to the school this is a closed campus between 7am and 4pm. You can't be here." Ok, well, we didn't know, and we checked as we left and there was no sign. The really frustrating part is that I will bet dollars to donuts that they lock the gate on the track and football field at 4pm. So there you have it - once you are an adult you may no longer use the public school facilities. I find that really irritating. I understand that they've done it as a "safety measure", but all of that lovely green grass being off limits seems kind of a waste. I wonder if there's a track in the South Bay that adults can use...

Current Mood: blah

"Eating fruit is fine. Drinking juice is not."
Saw this article today, thought I'd post it because, well, because it supports one of my personal dieting mantras*. "No fruit juice!" is something I'm militant about. To my mind drinking fruit juice is exactly the same as drinking regular soda - a giant calorie bomb of sugar with no feeling of fullness. The process of making juice is the process of extracting the beneficial part of the fruit - the fiber - and leaving the part that's there to make humans want to consume it - the sugar. There's nothing magical or special about fructose that makes it healthier than the sugar used in soda. Sugar is sugar, it all exists to carry calories into your body.

If you are dieting and thinking that having fruit juice is your healthy option, you are shooting yourself in the foot. Ounce for ounce, soda has fewer calories, and neither one is providing any significant health benefits. You might as well have a Coke and a smile, because (from the article), "The upside of juice consumption is so infinitesimal compared to the downside that we shouldn't even be having this discussion," said Dr. Robert Lustig, a pediatric endocrinologist at UC San Francisco.

* Nobody said I had to be impartial!

Weight check in
This week I lost .4 pounds, which I consider a total victory because I know that I'm carrying 1-2 pounds of water. I know this isn't news to women, nor any men that read my journal or live with women, but women tend to retain water during their period. I expect that one week out of four I will have no loss, and indeed my home scale told me I was up 2 pounds Monday morning, so any loss at all for my "official" check in was unexpected and absolutely welcome. My four week total is 9.6 pounds.

Now, on to my thoughts for the week...

It's all about long-term behavior modification. Losing weight is great, but keeping it off is the goal. I've said this many times before: I don't care how you want to lose it - fast, slow, upside down in a basket, it doesn't matter to me and it doesn't matter to your body if you lose it fast or slow (although, obviously, very fast weight loss needs to be monitored by a doctor), just understand that keeping it off is a long, slow, boring, tedious endeavor. It will last the rest of your life, so it behooves you to find tools - behaviors, foods and exercise - that you can sustain over the long haul.

It's not just having the tools that matters though - it's using them. A quote from my class on Monday night that resonated with me enough that I wrote it down: "It takes a collection of tools and consistent use of those tools to stay in control of what happens to your weight." Knowing is not the same as doing, and frequently I've discovered, in the course of using tools, that I didn't know as much as I thought I did. I know the basic math - calories in minus calories out equals weight change. But just knowing does not magically keep me from consuming too many calories. I have tools for that. And the only way to build the tools into something useful is to practice with them consistently.

Another quote: "Commitment to a goal is like a muscle - you have to keep working it over and over again or you lose it." (*) That means using the tools every single day, practicing until it is habit. One of the things I like most about the program I use is that when I started I was required to sign on for 18 months of Maintenance classes after I finished weight loss. I saw this as a selling point, not an onerous requirement. I know that behavioral modification takes time, and I wanted to practice maintaining with the training wheels on! Until making the right choices and organizing my life to make my health a priority is a habit or instinct, not just a task on my to-do list, I risk losing it. When it's instinctual it no longer matters if I have a lot to do today, I don't have to make a decision to eat right, I just do. I don't have to make a decision to go to the gym or exercise, I just do. But getting to a point where it is habit means making that right decision every day for a long time, practicing and consistently using the tools until I don't have to think about it.

(*) Note: THIS IS NOT AT ALL LIKE WILLPOWER! Willpower is not like a muscle - the more you use it the weaker it gets. Don't confuse these two!

Current Mood: pleased

Weigh in tonight, challenges this week, and meeting them
As I mentioned previously, last week saw no movement on the scale whatsoever, despite executing my program flawlessly. I noticed over the last week that my resolve wavers on a week after I've had no loss - there were a couple of times where I found myself thinking, "Well, it's not like the program is working anymore, I didn't lose anything last week so I might as well eat the (roll/bite of pasta/candied pecans/etc)." I managed to catch myself though and give the program a chance to work for me this week despite some challenging situations.

( Here are some challenges I faced this week and the tools I used to overcome them. )

This week I was rewarded for my diligence with a loss of 3.8 pounds. My 3-week total so far is 9.2 pounds, not too shabby. I'm pleased with my progress so far - although I can't see it in the mirror yet I feel better. As I knew I would.

In other news, I have been diagnosed by my friendly neighborhood physical therapist with a groin strain. Awwww yeah!!

You know what that means? It means that

cathyn has to massage it. My groin! Every day! For two weeks! Awww yeah!!!

I'm so 12 years old.

Current Mood: contemplative

Quote I liked re: grammar cops
"The only truly unbreakable rules of grammar and usage are the ones that, when broken, result in a genuine failure to communicate." (Laura Miller in Salon)

Running report
I could definitely do a 5K race now if I wanted to. It wouldn't be fast but I'd finish. Today I ran almost 3.8 miles in 50 minutes.

My left leg has been giving me trouble since I started running again, right where the thigh bone connects into the pelvis. At first I thought it was just the muscles and tendons getting back into shape and being sore, but now I'm starting to wonder if I might be doing some damage by persevering. But I'd feel really stupid going to a doctor with, "Well, when I start running it feels kind of...off for the first mile or so. Like the joint wants to pop but never does. It just feels kind of tight and sore. But only like a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. And then after a mile it sort of settles down to a low-level weakness." Yeah, they tend to frown on people coming in with really vague complaints so I try to put it off until it's a real problem that's stopping me from living my life. Right now it's just keeping me really slow. Not sure what to do but to persevere and wait until I've caused some real damage or it's sorted itself out through the Magic of Healing. Onward!

Current Mood: concerned

Weight and Diet and Head Space
Day 2, no headache. I could get used to this.

This week I didn't lose any weight whatsoever, despite executing my program flawlessly. ( And I'm fine with that. )

Current Mood: happy

Situation update and tournament results
Yesterday was Mists Coronet, my first event since I've been back in California. The very warm welcome home I received was heartwarming, people I wasn't even sure knew my name were welcoming me as warmly as friends I've known for more than a decade. I can't even begin to convey how happy and loved I feel. By far the most common question I got was, "Are you just visiting or are you here for good?" Just to clear things up - I'm here for good. I live here now, back at home where I belong, for the rest of my life, forever and ever, world without end amen. This is where I belong and nowhere else will do.

Just in case there was any ambiguity.

cathyn and I did not enter the lists yesterday, for what I felt were fairly obvious reasons - we are currently unemployed and technically homeless. It seemed vastly irresponsible to enter a Coronet lists under those conditions. We are currently staying at the home of

misagillian and

leohtulf upon their very kind charity until the house situation and/or the work situation solidifies. We've put an offer in on a house which is a short sale, and are awaiting approval from the seller's lending bank. This could take up to 4-6 months. I'm hoping for much less, but there's no way of knowing or hurrying the process along. As with the job search - I have my resume circulating, and based upon past experiences I expect that to take about 3 months. I don't know what the current economic situation will do to that timeline, but in the past my job searches in the Bay Area have always taken approximately 3 months. Anybody with a lead on a data architect position (for me) or project/program management work (for Cathyn), would be greatly appreciated for getting our resumes in front of the right people - shoot me an email or private message to get the ball rolling.

Now on to the awesome news - yesterday our generous hosts Gillian and Leohtulf prevailed in the lists and will step up as Prince and Princess of the Mists in 4 weeks. Let the sewing commence!! Our little sewing pod is giggling with glee at the prospect. That's gonna be one well-dressed Princess, my friends. And now I know what to do with my time while I'm waiting for a job and a house.

Current Mood: happy

Male privilege is such an ugly term
My friend

ekatarina posted an article this morning with a line that perfectly summed up something I've been pondering on over the last couple of years. The article is aimed at a male audience and asks: Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? Because, for women, it is.

This triggered some thoughts in me based upon experiences I've had over the last couple of years. Before

cathyn and I got together I lived alone or with a weak partner. I constructed my life and routes in a way that made me feel comfortable. Cathyn, on the other hand, goes where he will, when he wants because he has nothing to fear. This has lead, on occasion, to emotional crises on my part. Cathyn doesn't feel the fear I do when he's walking or driving in a bad neighborhood. When I am with him in those situations my instincts scream at me to GET OUT and I am almost unable to interact normally until I feel safe again. It's not that I don't feel he's capable of protecting me, whether he is or isn't my instincts are going to have the same reaction based upon years of conditioning. And so I am caught in the middle - my highly-strung instincts from years of being a single female in urban settings versus his confidence based upon being a strong, physically imposing man.

This came up once in Chicago last year. We were lost looking for our hotel in a VERY BAD area and I was scared. I tried to explain to him, once we found our hotel, why I was frightened and he shrugged and said, "It's the middle of the day." For him that's enough to ensure safety. To me that's only a slightly mitigating factor.

This is something SO MANY MEN struggle to understand, and want to debate or deny. There is no debate. I have had to construct my life, my routines, my actions *every single day* with this in mind. I don't just walk out the door into a bad part of town for a concert (or anything else) without preparing, without bringing as many friends with me as I can. I am not free to just wander aimlessly in a rough neighborhood because it's a straight route to my destination - I will take a longer route because it's safer. Every single day.

I'd love to say that I can live my life without fear but it would be a lie. There are places I won't go at night, there are walks I won't take alone. Now the article I've linked above is not quite hitting it on the head for me, because my fear has less to do with rape and more to do with general assault, but the line I've highlighted bears repeating: "Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? Because, for women, it is.” It's a very good summation of the concept of "male privilege." It's not a term I use often, or lightly, because it inherently expresses a bias against men which I don't harbor. I have no bias, I don't blame the men in my life for the world we live in.

I love men, I love the men in my life, I love Cathyn with a hot, burning love that knows no bounds. But there is a male privilege - that as men, you don't have to think about physical safety except in extreme situations. You don't have to construct your life with safety as a goal. You can focus on other things. I think about it all the time, every day, it's automatic. It's so automatic and ingrained that when we found ourselves wandering in that rough neighborhood in Chicago I froze and couldn't explain what was going on in my head for several minutes because it was absolutely instinctual.

I'm sure there are women for whom this is not the case. Congratulations. The vast majority of women I've broached this subject with burst forth in a torrent of examples and situations and techniques the moment it's brought up.

Thanks,

ekatarina, for posting the article. Definitely food for thought today.

Current Mood: contemplative

Update on diet and job search
First, the good: ( My week one results get a little ranty and tangential )

Then, the not bad: I just had a quick phone interview for a position in San Mateo. The recruiter and I agreed that they should bring me in for an in-person interview, and that he will talk to the Director about interviewing me. I don't know if that means there's a possibility they will decide not to, or if I'll definitely be getting a call to come in. The recruiter seemed to really like my experience at Gap and found it very relevant to their needs, so I'll be sure to lean on that if I get the in-person interview.

And finally, it's raining today so I need to find a way to get exercise indoors. Today appears to be the day I reactivate my 24-Hour Fitness membership. I just need to go through all the suitcases and see if I was smart enough to pack my swimming goggles or if they're in a POD somewhere in the ether...

Current Mood: satisfied

Meme time
Wow, I haven't done a meme here in LJ in ages. So, since I have nothing other than a vague, "you should have an answer this afternoon" on any of the things I'm waiting on, here's a silly meme I got from

cathyn:
( stuff I've done )

Very small selection of pics from our European adventure
( Behind a cut because not everyone wants to look at other people's vacation photos. )

We have about 700 photos in all, so these are just a few of them. I have lots of pictures from museums of various pieces of interest, but they didn't make the cut for LJ. Anybody who wants to see them is welcome to it, I also have a CD of fruit trenchers and Armada silver pics for

ppfuf and a CD of fruit trencher pics for

ermine_rat.

Current Mood: happy

I have a new doctor
I'm on my last pair of contacts, so I pulled up the provider directory for my COBRA vision plan, and put in my zip code. Third on the list was my new doctor. I knew just by scanning the names who I would pick. My new ophthalmologist is Dr. Tran. And she'll be seeing me on Friday. She's a REAL DOCTOR.

Sadly I can't link any classic Dr Tran (see icon) because it appears to have been removed from YouTube. Sigh. For those of you familiar with Dr Tran, I will be down at my ophthalmologist's office from 4 to 9 pm on Friday.

Current Mood: amused

Back on the HMR program, but boy am I tired tonight!
Wow, 5 hours of sleep after a 30-hour death march across continents is, apparently, not enough. Damn my inability to sleep during daylight, but tonight I will be turning out the light early, probably before 9pm.

Today I went to talk to my people at HMR and it felt SO GOOD to be there. Karen S. was walking out the front door as I was walking in and did a double take, squealed and gave me a hug, then walked me into Karen H.'s office, who gave me a hug and we chatted for a while until Toni T. came over because she'd seen me walk past and wanted a hug and to say hi. It was like returning to family, all of my counselors and supporters over the years were there and just so happy and excited that I was back. It was about 4pm when I got there but since they knew I was there to figure out which class I would be in Toni T. enthusiastically insisted that I attend one of her classes tonight. Karen H. (her boss) asked her which classes she had room in and Toni T. scoffed and said that she would make room for me in any of her classes, whichever one I wanted, just to have me in her class.

I feel loved. So I stayed for the 5:30 class and I'm officially back on the program. It feels really good to be back on track.

However, having only gotten 5 hours of sleep last night (I can't sleep when the sun is up) after yesterday's marathon of travel meant that once the initial excitement wore off I was yawning up a storm by the end of class. I'm getting that heavy, cotton-in-the-brain feeling of sleep deprivation. The other things I wanted to accomplish today will have to wait until tomorrow. Including visiting Mr CodyCat. He'll forgive me some day.

Current Mood: sleepy